Text Box: First Place Humour Verse – Third Quarter 2014

 

Cedric - A Cautionary Tale for Poets

by

Donald Nixon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He claimed to be the national bard

and leader of the avant garde.

He wore a wide poetic hat,

wrote obscure verse and kept a cat.

All rhyming verses made him sneer,

gave  pain to his poetic rear.

He grimaced, his expression stoic,

when faced with couplets called heroic.

Only sonnets could be worse

for he despised all formal verse.

He boasts of knowing all the great;

claims Carol Ann to be a mate,

and when he’s high on half a shandy,

calls Sir Andrew Motion  - Andy.

 

One day in search of something new,

he sought a subject at the zoo.

He  mused and heard a lion’s roar,

he thought a potent metaphor.

‘Be careful, sir,’ the keeper said,

‘The lions have not yet been fed.’

But  Cedric paid no heed at all

and wandered through the lions’ hall.

His mind full of his opening lines,

he just ignored all warning signs.

A beast called Laurie shook his mane

when Cedric poked him with his cane.

The lion tried a practice munch,

then swallowed Cedric for his lunch.

 

The Zoo Board took a PR line

and by the lions put a sign.

It states in fancy copperplate,

CEDRIC, THE POET LAURIE ATE

Second Place: All Sheep Were Once Black

Third Place: Armless Fun