Text Box: Humour Verse Winners Fourth Quarter 2014

First: Comparing Notes by Susanna Clayson

Second: Poor Old Aitch by Jenni Wyn Hyatt

Third: Limerick by Pamela Scobie

 

Click on the titles to read the three winning poems.

 

Judge’s Report for the fourth quarter of the humour verse competition 2014 from Barbara Scott-Emmett

Once again I'd like to thank all the entrants and offer commisserations to those who didn't make it through this time. I was tempted by verses referencing Schrodinger’s cat, philosophical potatoes, herbicidal borders and a spot of S&M – indeed all the shortlisted poems were hard to dismiss. In the end, I had to be tough – so here are my top three.

 

1st: Comparing Notes

Very often poems are clever without being especially funny but this one is both. It made me smile throughout and laugh at the end. The rhythm is perky and upbeat and the poem trots along at a good pace. The 'mathematical' ending is not overstated and the reader is left to consider (and possibly visualise) the implications for themselves. This was a cheeky poem which was a pleasure to read.

 

2nd: Poor Old Aitch

This amused me with its gentle ribbing of those who can't pronounce the name of the letter H properly. As language changes, no doubt 'haitch' will soon be considered correct, but for now we can smile and shake our heads along with the writer. I enjoyed the word use with the rhyming of unexpected words such as 'deprecations' and 'aspirations' (which of course also contained a pun).  It is always good to read such literate verse.

 

3rd: Limerick

I confess I debated over this one as it is so very short. In the end though, I had to acknowledge how much it made me laugh. The silliness of it and the clever but ridiculous spellings make it great fun; the fact that so much fun is crammed into a small package adds to the delightfulness of it. Just thinking about it keeps the smile on my face.

 

So, well done to the winners and to those shortlisted – they were all good poems but as usual only three can take the prizes.

Just a couple of notes for future reference: Please pay careful attention to the purpose of the competition. Several of the entries were exceptionally good – as poems – and had this been a general poetry competition would certainly have made the shortlist at the very least. Unfortunately, they weren't funny (nor, it seemed, were they intended to be) and were therefore set aside.  So please do remember this is a humorous verse competition.

I would also reiterate how important it is to pay attention to spelling and grammar. The odd typo won't prevent a good poem from winning, but a slapdash approach may make the difference between your poem being included on the shortlist and giving up its place to another.

Keep them coming in and make us chuckle.

 

We now regularly receive several hundred entries each quarter, so those making the long and short lists should feel very proud.

 

Shortlist in alphabetical order

 

A Genetically Altered Potato by Alan Carlton

Comparing Notes by Susanna Clayson

Learning Curve by Pamela Scobie

Limerick by Pamela Scobie

Mrs Malaprop’s Gardening Parabola by Gerald Vinestock

Poor Old Aitch by Jenni Wyn Hyatt

Sacred Moments by John Nield

Schrodinger’s Parrot by Sylvia Fairley

So That's Why it's Normally Just a Thought Experiment by Judgement Dave

We’re Ever so Sorry You’re Dead by Caron Garrod

 

Long list in alphabetical order

 

A Genetically Altered Potato by Alan Carlton

A Glass Full by Susanna Clayson

A Moving Experience by Jenni Wyn Hyatt

Builder-speak by Susanna Clayson

Carry on Rambling by Peter Burgham

Comparing Notes by Susanna Clayson

How Not to Write a Villanelle by Elizabeth Horrocks

Imelda by Pamela Scobie

Learning Curve by Pamela Scobie

Limerick by Pamela Scobie

Mrs Malaprop’s Gardening Parabola by Gerald Vinestock

Percival Flage – a Life by Philip Welsh

Poor Old Aitch by Jenni Wyn Hyatt

Purging by Pamela Scobie

Rod the Cod by Adrian Shaw

Rowland by Adrian Shaw

Sacred Moments by John Nield

School Trip by John Wayland

Schrodinger’s Parrot by Sylvia Fairley

So That's Why it's Normally Just a Thought Experiment by Judgement Dave

The Homeowner’s Prayer by Ian Harker

Unshaven by Richard Barker

Voyeur at the Bus Stop by Susan Soutar

We’re Ever so Sorry You’re Dead by Caron Garrod