Text Box: Humour Verse Winners Third Quarter 2014

First: Cedric - A Cautionary Tale for Poets by Donald Nixon

Second: All Sheep Were Once Black by Don Wells

Third: Armless Fun by Hazel Teare

 

Click on the titles to read the three winning poems.

 

Judge’s Report for the third quarter of the humour verse competition 2014 from Michael Shenton

There is clearly plenty of talent for humour out there, but this contest is of course for comic verse, not just comedy. The humour has to get up and dance, and this is where the dodgy moves often creep in. The occasional shaky rhyme or the odd lapse in the rhythm can be excused if the piece sufficiently exercises the chuckle muscles, but as a judge I couldn’t afford to be too forgiving, otherwise there would have been a dozen winners. Subjects varied from babies to grannies, naked giants to ill-fated wildfowl. I enjoyed making the acquaintance of them all. Then came judgment day ...

 

1st: Cedric - A Cautionary Tale for Poets

Here is a fine example of the think-of-a-punchline-and-work-backwards method of creating humorous poetry. I’ve used it myself many times. This verse paints an amusing picture of a certain type of poet most of us will recognise, and at the end it had me laughing and groaning in equal proportions - which is exactly as it should be with this sort of humour. Nicely done.

 

2nd: All Sheep Were Once Black

What turned the black sheep white? Obviously fear. Who were they afraid of? Why, Stradivarious of course, the famous violin-maker and cat lover. You have to applaud an imagination that can see a connection between a white farm animal and a legendary musical instrument maker. The verse that sprang from this leap of creativity was well thought out, a pleasure to read and satisfyingly comical.

 

3rd: Armless Fun

When you think about it we humans are the living version of the Swiss Army knife, with all sorts of handy implements attached. But unlike the Swiss Army knife, the human design could stand some improvement - as my choice for third prize indicates. This verse amusingly describes a problem that must have been experienced by everyone on the planet. The rhymes are spot on and the punning punchline raises the requisite smile.

 

We now regularly receive several hundred entries each quarter, so those making the long and short lists should feel very proud.

 

Shortlist in alphabetical order

 

100% Cocoa Fat by Martin Parker

All Sheep Were Once Black by Don Wells

Armless Fun by Hazel Teare

Care in the Community by Adrian Shaw

Cedric - A Cautionary Tale for Poets by Donald Nixon

Cerne Abbas Giant by Suzanne Olivante

Ducks and Drakes by Susanna Clayson

Pelicans Can't Read by Patricia Feinberg Stoner

Racing Demons by Sylvia Fairley

Sticks Qua Candelabra by Susanna Clayson

 

Long list in alphabetical order

 

100% Cocoa Fat by Martin Parker

A Midsummer Night's Awakening by Redvers King

All Sheep Were Once Black by Don Wells

Armless Fun by Hazel Teare

Being Kept Up with the Neighbours by Martin Parker

Care in the Community by Adrian Shaw

Cedric - A Cautionary Tale for Poets by Donald Nixon

Cerne Abbas Giant by Suzanne Olivante

Ducks and Drakes by Susanna Clayson

Favourite Uncle by Brian Allgar

Insecticide by Pamela Kent

Macho Man by Adrian Shaw

My Least Favourite Things by Tania Kremer-Yeatman

Not Enough Time by Ophir Catling

Passion by Adrian Shaw

Peggotty-Sue by Adrian Shaw

Pelicans Can't Read by Patricia Feinberg Stoner

Racing Demons by Sylvia Fairley

Response to a Business Card by Anselm Bassano

Sticks Qua Candelabra by Susanna Clayson

The Antiques Roadshow by Adrian Shaw

The Candidate by Adrian Shaw

Trick or Treat by  Karen Mikellis

We the Natives by Liam O'Brien

When Fog Lifts by Susanna Clayson