Text Box: Humour Verse Winners Fourth Quarter 2011

First: The Football Match by Adrian Shaw

Second: Top Cats by Adrian Shaw

Third: Meeting God without her Teeth by Peter Goulding

Click on the titles to read the three winning poems.

 

Judge’s Report for the fourth quarter of the humour verse competition 2011 from Lorraine Mace

 

Judging the competition this quarter was incredibly hard. Out of the ten on the shortlist there were six that stood out – each worthy of being placed. In fact, the order of these six changed so many times over the course of a few days that I felt I was going round in circles trying to decide where to award the prizes.

 

In alphabetical order, these were:

Meeting God without her Teeth

Miss Jones

Ode to Nigella Lawson

The Football Match

The Man in the Grip of a Bad Midlife Crisis

Top Cats

 

In the end, I had to devise a list of categories and judge the poems against them – awarding points in each category according to merit, with some categories being weighted. Even then, three poems finished so close together that only half a mark separated first from second and second from third.

 

I looked at:

How effective was the humour?

Was the theme novel or original in the way it had been approached?

Did the rhyme, metre and rhythm work?

The opening – was it attention grabbing?

The closing lines – did they work well as a punch line and/or summary?

The title – was it apt and original?

 

The entries are passed to me without names or any identifying marks, so you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that first and second placed poems were from the same author. Once you’ve read them, I’m sure you will agree with me that no one could possibly have guessed this was the case. They are completely dissimilar in tone, subject matter and style, which shows the depth and range of the author’s talent.

 

1st: The Football Match

This clever take on a local team’s exploits is wonderfully conceived and executed. I loved it from the very first read.

 

2nd: Top Cats

This nonsense rhyme is funny from start to finish, but the final line is the one that made me laugh out loud — wonderful humour.

 

3rd: Meeting God without her Teeth

The title is fabulous and so is the humour, from the opening stanza to the final line. The author takes us on a journey with this poor woman who had been so desperate not to meet God without her dentures, all to no avail.

 

Short list in alphabetical order

 

Home-Free

Meeting God without her Teeth

Miss Jones

My Wife is in the Cellar

Ode to Nigella Lawson

The Football Match

The Man in the Grip of a Bad Midlife Crisis

The Market

Top Cats

Voice from the Valley

 

Long list in alphabetical order

 

A Date of Numbers

A Lifestyle Change for Santa?

Dancing Shoes

Home-Free

Lines Accompanying a Draft Divorce Settlement

Lines to Lines of Knickers

LOL SOS

Macbeth’s Lost Soliloquy in Act I Scene III

Meeting God without her Teeth

Miss Jones

My Wife is in the Cellar

Ode to Nigella Lawson

On the Origins of a Favourite Swiss Pastime

Rocky the Pole Dancer

Senior Escorts Ltd

The Football Match

The Man in the Grip of a Bad Midlife Crisis

The Market

Top Cats

Voice from the Valley

We Got Plenty