Text Box: Humour Verse Winners First Quarter 2012

First: Crememento Morium by Lynn Roberts

Second: The Mane Problem in Politics by Melanie Branton

Third: Poetry for Men Only by Martin Parker

Click on the titles to read the three winning poems.

 

Judgeís Report for the first quarter of the humour verse competition 2012 from Lorraine Mace

 

Judging this competition gets harder and harder as the number and quality of entries increases each quarter. As always, deciding on the top three was difficult. In the end I went with the poems that had rhythm and a pleasing flow of words, dealt with the theme or subject matter in an original way and, above all, made me laugh. In all three cases, the final lines are funny and expertly bring the poems to a close.

 

Before passing onto the winning entries, Iíd like to give special mention to three that came close to making it into the top slots. In no particular order, as they say on all the reality shows, are the three that helped to make my task close to impossible.

 

Blind Date has two lines towards the end about body odour and food that I thought were absolutely brilliant.

Weird Parents seems to be so normal and then the final, and very funny, line turns everything on its head.

Fun and Games is cleverly constructed and very amusing.

 

And now for the winning entries:

1st: Crememento Morium

Where to start with this clever and very funny poem? Grandmaís cremation is an unlikely subject matter for a humour verse entry, but the mourners realise they have a problem when it becomes apparent that not everything about Grandma is natural.

 

2nd: The Mane Problem in Politics

We receive many poems on the subject of politics and politicians, but this one stood out from the rest because of the way the theme has been treated. This goes to show that even well worn themes, if handled correctly, can become fresh and witty.

 

3rd: Poetry for Men Only

I started smiling from the beginning of the second verse and was chuckling by the end. This is one for every poet who has struggled to get their work published.

 

Short list in alphabetical order

 

Blind Date by Claire Hewitt

Complicated Coffee by Julia Kellie

Crememento Morium by Lynn Robert

Donít Ask Me by Martin Parker

Fun and Games by Moira Ashley

Oh Wendy Cope! By Gwen de Mel

Poetry for Men Only by Martin Parker

The Burglar by Margaret Malloy   

The Mane Problem in Politics by Melanie Branton

Weird Parents by James Woolf

 

 

Long list in alphabetical order

 

Blind Date by Claire Hewitt

Cairo Museum Guide by David Ellis

Chic Boutiques by Karen Rollason

Complicated Coffee by Julia Kellie

Crememento Morium by Lynn Robert

Donít Ask Me by Martin Parker

Fat Cats by Adrian Shaw

Felix, who Loved his Food Too Much by Colin West

Find a Man! by Edel Wignell

Flies Cube by Tin Stanton

Fun and Games by Moira Ashley

Go and Pee by John Crofts

I Really Hate My T-fal UltraGlide by Lynn Roberts

Iíve Lost My Willy by Mary Dawson

Land of Pork and Honey by Tin Stanton

Misfit by Charlotte Caine

My Family Tree by Janet Turner

Nonsense Is As Nonsense Does by Emma King-Farlow

Oh Wendy Cope! By Gwen de Mel

Poetry for Men Only by Martin Parker

Self Pleasure by Clare Hill

Some Girls There Are Who Feel by Jane Williams

Spinning a Yarn by Tin Stanton

Stag Night-On-Sea by Mike Stenson 

The Burglar by Margaret Malloy   

The Invisible Man is my Lover by Clare Kirwan

The Mane Problem in Politics by Melanie Branton

The Maritime Museum by Alan Jones

Trees-R-Us by LJ Reeves

Weird Parents by James Woolf