Text Box: Humour Verse Winners Second Quarter 2011

First: If it Comes with a Shell and a Saltwater Smell by Martin Parker

Second: Meddling Madeleine by Kath Kilburn

Third: Website Work-shopping by Martin Parker

Click on the titles to read the three winning poems.

 

Judgeís Report for the inaugural humour verse competition 2011 from Lorraine Mace

 

I have had an absolute ball reading the entries to the humour verse competition. Make us laugh, we said, and many of you certainly managed that. The entries ranged from outright bawdy to subtly suggestive, from outrageously wicked to mildly corrupting, from laugh out loud funny to wry smile making. Most of the entries passed to me for judging had attention grabbing opening stanzas and satisfying endings and the standard overall was high, very high. I found it really hard to pick just three from the superb final ten Ė they all had something that called out Ďpick me, pick meí.

Before I move on to talking about the winning poems, Iíd like to offer some advice to those whose poems didnít make it through to the long list. We had some fabulously funny entries which failed because the rhymes were forced or the rhythm was off. Read your poems out loud. It really is the best way to pick up on words that donít quite achieve what youíd hope they would.

Sadly, we had a few disqualified entries due to exceeding the line count and/or putting the authorís name on the poem.

Those of you who made it to the final stages of judging, should give yourselves a huge pat on the back. The entries came in from five of the seven continents, with only South America and Antarctica failing to rustle up a poet or two. But there can only be three winning poems and these are the three that I enjoyed the most.

 

1st: If it Comes with a Shell and a Saltwater Smell

I found this to be original in theme and witty in execution. The author makes good use of rhyme through clever word choice. It was funny and different, making it stand out from the rest as a clear winner. Iíll never be able to look at an oyster again without thinking of the final line of the second stanza.

 

2nd: Meddling Madeleine

Poems about naughty children are fairly frequently seen, but the author took this well used theme and turned it into something fresh and amusing. Madeleine and Mum come to life on the page Ė and I was pleased to see that the cat got the final smirk.

 

3rd: Website Work-shopping

I donít think there can be many writers unable to identify with this wonderfully witty take on the Ďbenefitsí of peer review websites. Once again, the rhymes are effortless and the wry humour of the final verse sums up the entire poem.

 

 

Short list in alphabetical order

 

Black Widow

Boggerel

If it Comes with a Shell and a Saltwater Smell ...

I've Been to an Anne Summers Party

Lucky Numbers

Meddling Madeleine

Perfect way to go!

Sugar and Spice

The Morning After

Website Work-shopping

 

Long list in alphabetical order

 

A Bed Full of Lovers

A Chevy Bloke

Black Widow

Boggerel

Fraternisation (a dissertation)

If it Comes with a Shell and a Saltwater Smell ...

I've Been to an Anne Summers Party

King Címut

Leech

Lucky Numbers

Meddling Madeleine

My Mumís a Bond Villain

Oh Bard Beware

Oh Come all Ye Famous

Opprobrium

Perfect way to go!

Repentance

Scarytales

Sugar and Spice

The Emperor's New Clothes

The Morning After

Twisted Nursery Rhymes

Udder Stressure!

Website Work-shopping

You Canít Get the Staff